Here it is...

Finally, a picture of the new tatt.

It's really not very big, but it looks bigger because the picture is zoomed in so much.  

Oh, and a bunch of the Americans have been sick over the past few days, so please keep praying that they will stay healthy and rested for the remainder of our time at camp.  Also, please pray for the rest of us...camp is going really well so far, but I think we're just a little tired and not ready to deal with some of the stupid stuff we've been dealing with.  That's about it--I'm tired, so I'm going to bed.  Thanks.  Goodnight and Godspeed.

Peace and love,

Lo B.

Taste past the tip of your tongue

"Wake up everyone

How can you sleep at a time like this

Unless the dreamer is the real you

Listen to your voice

The one that tells you to taste past the tip of your tongue

Leap and the net will appear"

-Jason Mraz, "Make It Mine"

Unless you live under a rock, you probably know that I am a huge fan of Jason Mraz.  I think he is one of the most naturally talented musicians around, and he is a brilliant lyricist..  He writes a lot about love, and not just about romantic love but about philanthropy, too.  His music always puts me in a happy mood (even if I'm not listening to one of his oh-so-catchy summery tunes), and I've been listening to him a lot lately.  I find something new in each of his songs every time I listen, and the above excerpt from "Make It Mine" really jumped out at me recently.  

The world is so full of beauty, but for some reason we tend to look past it and to maintain a "grass is greener" philosophy about life.  Instead of stumbling through life, finding it merely mediocre, I'm trying to live with eyes wide open, observing all the beauty on this earth.  It's easy to get jaded (I know I have far too often) and to forget to appreciate the little things, but I'm working on breaking down the unappreciative shell I tend to build up around my brain.  I'm grateful for all the blessings, big and small, that God has given me.  I like to dream; I want to do big things; I want to (as I wrote about not long ago) seize the day.  I'm tasting past the tip of my tongue, and it's a great feeling.

I'm not sure where all this is coming from; I'm thinking it's stemming from having a new team of Americans here.  They're from Atlanta (NPCC, actually), and it's completely bizarre to have people from home around me again.  I miss my family and friends and everything, but I really, REALLY don't miss life in the metro-Atlanta area (actually, whenever we listen to the song "Disturbia" I change the lyrics to "suburbia").  The team is cool and everything, but it just feels like they're from a different world than me.  I'm coming home in two weeks, and it's the strangest feeling to know I'm going back to the comfortable life; I'm excited to start school in January, but I'm really not particularly keen on the idea of being in East Cobb for another year or so.  I'm just being honest.  I didn't really like it before I came here, and I doubt I'll like it when I get back.  

But I'm going to try to appreciate the beauty of the next year as I see it, and I'm going to try my hardest to make the most of the time I have once I get back home.  It won't be easy, but I'm going to trust that God has me there for a reason, even if it's not a reason that I like.

That being said, please pray for our final camps, as they start tomorrow.  Kati, Ev, Chris, and I are working with the NPCC team and the youth from the town of Rakvere, and we'll be heading back to Pala for this camp.  Ask God to keep us safe, humble, and united throughout this week.  I think this week is going to be as much a growing experience for the students from North Point as it is for the students from Rakvere, so ask God to move in everyone's hearts as the week progresses.  Brett and Innar are doing another camp at the same time as ours, so please keep them in your prayers, too.  

Please be praying for me as the end of my trip approaches; it's going to be very hard to leave my friends here, and I want to have a good attitude about returning home.  I also need rest, so please pray for that and for energy for me (and for the rest of the team) as I participate in my final camp.  I'm really excited for this week, and I can't wait to tell you more about it as camp progresses.  

Well, I guess that's really all I have to say.  I'm going to take a little nap and continue listening to Mr. A-Z.  Oh, wait, that reminds me.  He is going to be doing a concert in Atlanta in two days and I'm very, very sad that I won't be there.  If you can, buy a ticket and go to the show.  It's worth it.  I promise you.  Okay...bye.

Peace and Love,

Lo B.

Tsau.

I left my heart in...

Kohila.

Well, I have officially finished my second camp.  It was challenging, hot, mosquito-infested, interesting, fun, and probably the most wonderful weeks of my life.  Our Kohila English camp was completely different than the first ones in Pala and Sihva; A) we were at a location that was brand new to us, B) the location was mostly outdoors, so the bugs were AWFUL, C) it was the first EC ever done with the youth from Kohila, D) it was the only camp where all the interns could be together, and E) I was leading a small group.  There were plenty of other differences, too, but I think it's just best to say that I can't really compare my two camp experiences because they've been so different.  

However, I can say that I have never connected with a group of students the way I did with the ones this week.  Almost all were non-believers, so it was very challenging to present the story of God in a way that would be appealing to them; also, some of the kids' English wasn't very strong, so the communication barrier was a bit more challenging than at the first camp.  That didn't stop God from moving in the kids' hearts (of course), but it did force us to get creative with our small group times.  

Here is a picture of my small group; from left to right it's Grete (my Estonian co-leader), Mari-liis, Mall, Abigail (our speaker's 9-year-old daughter), Kristel, Martha, and me.

  

I loved getting to know these girls; they are so sweet, and it was so cool to see them open up throughout the week.  It was so great to be able to talk with them about God, and at the end of the week Mari-liis and Mall accepted Christ (I'm getting chills just writing about it).  My heart was bursting with love for them when we left Kohila yesterday.

I absolutely loved the goofy boys here; their average age was 15, and they were over-the-top ridiculous.  I think they enjoyed having a girl around that was willing to do, well, pretty much anything they challenged me to do.  On our last night at camp when they all went to sauna, I was talking to my mom on Skype when a bunch of boys ran into our meeting room, covered in mud.  They had jumped into the lake and rubbed mud all over their bodies after sauna, and they wanted to come scare off the girls in the meeting room.  As I talked with Mumsy, they came over and started to wipe mud on my face (and to introduce themselves to my mom, of course), hoping that I would want to retaliate.  I didn't, so they ran back outside.  A few minutes later, once I was done Skyping, they ran back in with a few new recruits.  All the girls in the room were screaming, and I was just laughing; as they started to run out, I made the mistake of saying, "But I wanted a hug!"  One of the leaders (who I had also worked with in Pala), Kuldar, ran back and gave me a huge hug.  All the other boys saw him, and the following picture is a glimpse of the chaos that ensued. 

It was crazy, disgusting fun, and that's why I love these boys.  They keep me young at my ripe old age of 20 (in three days).

Finally, I have to introduce my new buddies, Risto and Robert.  They are like my brothers from other mothers.  I met these two our first night when I sat down at a table and started talking to Robert.  Honestly, I thought I wasn't going to like the kid (I told him that afterwards) because he seemed like the type that thought he was too cool for school.  As soon as we started talking he changed my mind; he is crazy, and I love it.  Risto came over to talk with us a few minutes after I met Robert, and I quickly decided that I loved him because he's really reserved (and I love nothing more than forcing people to come out of their shells).  The two of them are on an extreme sports team in Kohila, and they're so good at what they do--Robert is a BMXer and Risto is a rollerblader--that they have sponsors and all that jazz.  Words can't describe how much I love these guys.  They're fantastic.

I think the real way for you to understand what I mean when I say that I left my heart in Kohila would be for me to tell you what happened yesterday at our after-party.  We spent the afternoon back at a park in Kohila, chilling and grilling with the students.  When the time rolled around for us to head back to Tartu, the goodbyes began.  It was so hard to say goodbye to everyone (one boy that loved me a little too much hugged me at least 8 times), and it was almost surreal to think that I wasn't going to be seeing these kids every day anymore.  We hugged, laughed, talked about being facebook friends, and climbed into our cars.  Brett, Kati, Evelin, Maggie Younker (a friend from Atlanta that is taking a weekend off from studying abroad in Oxford to visit us), another teammate, Daniel, and I were all riding back to the church to pick up our stuff and go home.  As we headed toward the park's exit, a line of students stepped in front of the cars to block our path.  

Evelin and I looked at each other and we both started crying.  

I don't cry very often.  I cried multiple times yesterday.  These kids are incredible, and they've touched me in a way that I can't yet grasp.  

Thank you for your prayers this week...please continue to pray that God's love will be evident to the youth of Kohila, and pray for Joel and Veronika, the Kohila youth leaders.  

I'm now going to hang out with friends before we have a big birthday shindig for Kati (hers was the 16th) and me.  Woohoo!

Peace and Love,

Lo B.

Rockstars love me.

So yesterday our team went to a big grocery store on the outer edge of Tallinn, and while we were there Evelin and I took a detour to run to the W.C.  As we were walking, I put my sunglasses on and said, "I'm going to wear these inside so people will think I'm famous."  Right after I said that, a group of a few guys walked past us--all wearing sunglasses--and stared at us (I was wearing my red lipstick, and they're not used to seeing that kind of thing in Estonia).  As we walked into the bathroom, Ev started laughing and said, "That was pretty much the most famous band in Estonia."  I didn't understand what she meant, and she explained that the group of guys that had stared at us were the members of a rock band called Traffic.  Ev said she used to have a crush on the lead singer.  I laughed because they looked ridiculous when we saw them.  She wanted to walk around the store and try to find them while our teammates shopped.  It didn't take long to find them...or, should I say, for THEM to find US.  Ev and I were discussing what color the towel I was buying actually was (it was blue, not purple like she thought) when the guys walked buy and one of them threw his shopping basket down on the floor by us.  We turned around and they all tried to act really cool and like they weren't trying to get our attention, but then they kept following us around to different areas of the store.  They never actually talked to us (guys are very different here than in the States), but they just stood close enough to realize that I was an American and wouldn't know who they were (or so they thought).  We ended up leaving, and Ev just showed me the music video for their biggest hit, a song that makes fun of Latvia...so I'll leave you with this lovely glimpse of a love affair that just was never meant to be.

+

Too bad.

Peace and Love,

Lo B.

Sorry, Charlie (Row).

Charles Row, Jr., don't read this.

Just kidding, but now I can say I gave fair warning to my granddaddy.

I ended my last post with "carpe diem," a favorite saying of mine (thank you, Horace, Robin Williams, or--and this is the real one--Erwin McManus), meaning "seize the day."  At the beginning of the year, the lovely Holly Tant recommended the book "Chasing Daylight" (McManus) to me; I read it, and found myself challenged by the basic idea presented by the book.  Seize the day.  Seize the moment.  Don't be complacent.  It's about more than just being proactive or any of that "7 Habits for Highly Effective blah blah blah" stuff; it's about looking at how Jesus lived and trying to live with the same determination and zeal for life.  

At the time when I was reading the book, I was not having the most fun with life.  It seemed like things were going right for all of my friends, and I couldn't understand why God was forgetting about me.  I was spending time in the Word.  I was praying.  I was waiting.

And waiting.  And waiting.

But sometimes waiting isn't always a good thing.  I was waiting for God to give me an answer about my future without really pursuing any leads that He needed to confirm or reject for me.  I was comfortable (but at the same time uncomfortable with being comfortable) and stagnant.  "Chasing Daylight" helped me realized that sometimes I just need to grab the bull by the horns and trust that God will show me where to go from there.  I needed to live with the same urgency that Jesus did.

So I began to try to seize the day.  Sure, I have my lazy days, but I can honestly say that my outlook on life has changed completely in the past seven months.  It's so clichè to say "live every day as your last," but it really is a great way to live.  I've learned to appreciate the small things, to treasure my relationships, and to try to be an open vessel of God's love because it may be the last time I'll ever be able to do so.  I'm seizing the day.  

If you haven't seen "Dead Poets Society" I recommend you watch it right now.  Seriously, stop reading this, go get the movie, and watch it.  There are so many great lines in the movie, but my favorite is the first monologue of Professor John Keating, a character played brilliantly by Robin Williams, in which he addresses his class of teenage boys at a prestigious prep school and compares them to the school's alumni whose pictures they're admiring (wow, that was a long sentence):

"They're not that different from you, are they? Same haircuts. Full of hormones, just like you. Invincible, just like you feel. The world is their oyster. They believe they're destined for great things, just like many of you, their eyes are full of hope, just like you. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because, you see gentlemen, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? - - Carpe - - hear it? - - Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day, boys.  Make your lives extraordinary. "

My potential is endless (as is yours), so why not chase dreams and, like Henry David Thoreau said, "live deep and suck out all the marrow of life," while I still can?  

Now I'm actually at the part of this musing that this whole post is really about...

I got another tattoo today.  It is αδράξει την ημέρα which means "seize the day" in Greek.  I like Greek better than Latin, and it's a literal translation of "seize the day" whereas carpe diem is not.  I don't have any pictures of it right now, so I'll just describe it as being written in a vertical line down my spine, starting right below where a collar typically hits.  It's about seven cm long and probably less than half a cm wide.  I love it, and it's a permanent reminder to live passionately for the Lord and to live an extraordinary life.  

Okay, well I leave for the next camp tomorrow morning and I don't think I'll have internet access while I'm there, so please continue to pray for God to work miracles in the lives of the students and the leaders.  We're going to be at a facility that has never been used for English camp before, so also be praying that we are fully prepared for the unknown.  I'll let you know how things go as soon as I can!

Peace and Love,

Lo B.

GGGG

On the intern training retreat (it feels like it was forever ago) we learned about the Four G's, a set of basic principles about God.  The Four G's state that God is Great, Glorious, Good, and Gracious.  As we dove deeper into what each G means, we spent a lot of time focusing on whether or not we really believe that God is each of the things we were discussing.  Here's a bit more in-depth of a look at the Four G's.

God is Great.  

Sure He is.  We all know that, right?  Well as we look a bit deeper into this principle, we find that because God is great we don't need to be in control.

Ouch.  That's a bit more difficult to swallow.

I think we all like to agree that God is great and in control and everything, but when it all boils down to it how much are we really trusting that this principle is true?  We can acknowledge it with our mouths, but are we actually placing our full trust in the Lord?  

God has taught our team a LOT about this principle as the camps have progressed, and He's teaching me a lot about it individually as I work my way through Job.  Job was one tough cookie, but he still knew that God was in control, even when his Captain BuzzKill, Negative Nancy, and Debbie Downer friends were telling him otherwise.  I could talk about God's greatness for awhile, but I'll just end this G with a challenge for you:  when you or someone you are talking to is questioning a situation or trying to fix something that isn't going according to plan, try asking if they (or you) really believe that God is great.  It's a thought-provoking and humbling question.  Try it.  I dare you.

Next G.  God is Glorious.

We sing worship songs about it.  We know He is worthy of all our praise.  What we often forget is that because God is glorious (and we are not), we don't have to fear others.  God is the only one worthy of praise; Psalm 27:1 says, "The Lord is my light and my salvation--whom shall I fear?  The Lord is the stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid?"  

God is teaching me more than I could imagine about His glory; He is giving me a spirit of freedom and teaching me to find my identity solely in Him.  As much as I love my friends and family, I don't find my worth in who they see me as.  I know who I am in the Lord, and I know that I will find security and value as long as I am seeking after Him.  Nobody is greater or more glorious than God, so I have nobody to fear except for God.  As long as I listen to Him I will not fear what others think of me.  I am free in the Lord, free of fearing others and free to love.  It's wonderful, isn't it?

Next up is Goodness.  God is Good, so we don't need to look elsewhere (you'll see as we progress that the G's all start to relate to each other).  At camp, one thing we repeat over and over to the students is that God is holy, meaning He is good, right, and perfect.  We talk about how when Adam and Eve sinned, doubt also entered the world.  We began to doubt that God doesn't want what's best for us.  The truth is that God wants us to find our fulfillment in Him, and in order to do that we have to acknowledge that we are powerless (meaning we have to acknowledge that He is Great) and that only God can satisfy our needs.  

So many people get stuck on this one because they have trouble recognizing that they truly need to be rescued.  It's easy to "accept Christ" and to continue to try to save ourselves.  That's what the world tells us to do.  In today's society, it's exceedingly more difficult to admit that we are helpless creatures.  But that is, in fact, what we are.  Helpless.  So why not go ahead and recognize that God is good, right, and perfect and allow Him to satisfy our needs like He so wants to?  Exactly, you're catching my drift now...

Last but not least, God is Gracious.  

This one has wreaked a bit of havoc on all of our lives.  

God is Gracious, so we don't have to prove ourselves (to others or to God).  

This is the one that is so easy to confess with our lips then deny with our actions.  "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast," (Ephesians 2:8-9).  I have heard that verse over and over from a very young age, yet I find myself trying to disprove it over and over again.  I may not do it consciously, but I've come to realize that I don't always accept grace.  I think it's because it's almost unfathomable to think that the perfect Lamb of God could be slain for me without me needing to give something in return.  I mean, I've been raised in the South, for crying out loud; I'm expected to take a gift of some sort if I'm invited to a friend's house for a cook-out.  Based on Mrs. Manners' guide to proper etiquette, wouldn't it be somewhat appropriate for me to try to find some way of paying back the God of the Universe for giving me His Son to forgive my countless sins?

But that's just it...my gift is acceptance.  That's what God wants from me.  Acceptance and obedience.  That's why He gave us His Word as a guideline for our lives; we don't accept and obey so we'll be loved, but we accept and obey BECAUSE we are loved.  

Crazy, huh?

Instead of dwelling on everything we've done wrong, or feeling proud of what we've done right, or trying to do everything we can to please others and to maybe make things a little better, we can just accept grace and stop trying to manipulate God.  Then we won't have to try to prove ourselves to others or to God, and that will make life a whole lot more simple (since we will never actually be able to prove ourselves to others since only God is Glorious, thus also meaning that we can't prove ourselves to Him because we're epic failures...and we're okay with it!).  

All that being said, God's grace can wreck lives in the best way possible.  It's been happening a lot here, and it's absolutely beautiful.

So yes, the Four G's are just a new way of looking at the fundamental truths about God, but I think they are much easier to grasp (at least for our team) now that we've really dissected them and studied what it means to know and believe these truths.

I'm finding so much freedom in the G's, specifically in Glory and Grace (or at least lately).  It's the best feeling to know that I am who I am because I AM made me this way.  He, the One that created every freaking star in the sky, made me unique and in His image.  I can place my trust fully in Him and not in what others think of me because He alone is worthy of praise and fear.  

Life is good.  God is good (great, glorious, and gracious).  Carpe diem.

Peace and Love,

Lo B.

Estonian lesson

This video was made on the train from Jõgeva to Tallinn.  I thought you might enjoy hearing the Estonian language while seeing how quickly I'm learning to speak and understand it.  Plus, it gives you a chance to meet my friend Kaur...so enjoy this Estonian lesson.

Peace and love,

Lo B.

Speechless.

First of all, I want to thank you on behalf of the Jõgeva and Sihva teams for your prayers this past week.  We really felt your support throughout the week, and I can't tell you how grateful we all were to have it.  This past week left me practically speechless.  God moved in unthinkably huge ways at the camps, and I know your prayers were a big part of the life-change that occurred in the hearts of the Estonian youth.  I can't even begin to describe everything that happened, but I'm going to try to give you a brief overview.

Throughout intern training and team training we've used something called the Six Chairs Analogy.  It's a way of classifying where a person is spiritually based on which chair they sit in.  The first chair represents that student that has absolutely no interest in God or anything having to do with him.  The second chair is the student who maybe believes that God exists but still doesn't care too much about submitting to the Lord.  The third chair is the student that believes God exists but isn't quite ready to commit to "the whole Christianity thing."  The fourth chair is the baby Christian.  The fifth is the student that is slowly learning how to lead, and the sixth is the leader.  During training, we would try to define different interests or thoughts about life and Christianity that people in each chair might have.

I've seen similar analogies used in the past, but I've never seen one so detailed until now.  As we trained, we discussed ways to encourage students to move to the next chair.  In the past at English camps, most students have moved up one chair by the end of the week.  This year, at least in the Jõgeva camp, almost every student moved to chair number three or up.  Many students that showed up the first day claiming, "I don't need any god," accepted Christ on Wednesday night or Thursday morning.  

Here were the small groups meeting on Thursday morning.

I wasn't a small group leader at this camp, so I can't tell you as many specific stories about the students as I would like; I can tell you that watching students who did not care at all in the beginning submit to Christ by the end of camp was one of the greatest blessings I have ever experienced.  I did get to know a few students better than the others this week, and seeing their hearts melted by God's love was an absolutely beautiful experience.  I would love to tell you more about it if we speak in person.

We were all tired by the end of the week, but the Lord prevailed and kept us healthy enough and provided us energy to get through it all.  After debriefing in Jõgeva on Friday, we had a big after party with the campers (and it lasted until 2:30 a.m.).  Here are a couple shots from the party.

This was around 11:00 p.m. when some of the campers and leaders were playing a little soccer.

 We came to Tallinn yesterday and met up with the Sihva team, and now I'm getting ready to meet my fellow interns for breakfast before heading back to Tartu.  It was an incredible first camp, and I cannot thank you enough for your support.  I can't wait to tell you more about it all, but I'm still trying to process everything so it could take awhile!  

On a side note, I'm including a picture from last night because it was an awesome evening.  Instead of going to the Tallinn Song Festival like I'd planned, I went with some guys from the team to an old underground bomb shelter (they originally told me they were underground tombs).  We "hunted for zombies" for a while, then got back in the car to head back to Tallinn...or so I thought.  After about five minutes of driving I said, "We're going the opposite direction of town."  They laughed and refused to tell me and the other American where we were going.  I started freaking out a little (at one point I said, "I've seen 'Taken' and I know how this works!") and called Kati so she could talk to one of the Estonians and reassure me that I wasn't

 being kidnapped.  It turns out that the boys were taking me to a town called Keila to see the sunset over the Baltic.  It was beautiful, and I think it's an experience I will always remember.  

Pictures can't really do justice to the beauty of this sunset.

Thank you again for the prayers...please continue to pray for the students from the camps and for everyone that served.  God is doing big things in the lives of the leaders, too, and I know they would appreciate your prayers as they pursue His will.

Peace and Love,

Lo B.